A Secretive Diva Day!

Hey guys!

I need to celebrate the anniversary of so many things!

Unfortunately I seemed to have missed the exact toll of midnight before being able to put up a post, but I had my idea ready to go, I swear.

*Special mention: I will not give Mumble-wumble the satisfaction of thinking he won and that I didn't post on time.*

Physically not being present and not being able to hit the publish button cannot count as a good enough reason to "lose".

I had the idea for this post in my head for quite some time. I did miss the exact day I could have posted this, but clearly I had other stuff on my mind. But here's what I would have liked to talk about approximately 2 posts ago.

My very own Canada Day!

So as y'all (those from Canada anyway) probably know, it was Canada Day not too long ago. We celebrated the birth of the beautiful nation we live in. *giggles*

However, for someone who was not born and raised here, the appreciation I hold for this country knows no bounds. I know for a fact that if I was still living in my homeland, I would never have been exposed to the opportunities I was given when I was a student here. To think that almost 11 years ago, I was throwing tantrum after another to not move away from my friends and family, and to see where I am now - it's quite the difference.

It was such a big step for a mere 13-year-old kid who didn't know right from wrong, up from down and Canada from the USA *admits guiltily*. So moving to this country, meeting new people, getting different experiences, were all things I was terrified to do!

I really have to finish this post and my other post soon, I don't like things to be left incomplete. But someone is really forcing me to be okay with it.

Anyway. Until I come back to this...

Hasta la-buh bye!

Rage.

Hi.

It's venting time.

In the form of a story. A really short story. About myself. About to share something personal here.

Many years ago, when I was about 7 years old, this incident occurred. I was leading a very happy life with my parents who I loved more than anything in the world. Aai-Baba adored me, pampered me and usually let me have my way with anything I wanted. Note that I wasn't spoiled, just pampered.

Growing up, I remember my parents being usually fairly careful not to let me see them arguing. But I think one day when moods were particularly bad, patience was running low and tempers were running high, something happened and they started arguing quite fiercely. I think there was a lot of unresolved and underlying tension that caused the actual spat to be over something ridiculously minor. Nonetheless, I remember the Pops getting extremely upset with the Moms for leaving the light on while not being in the room. In a kind of a blind rage, he started turning on all the lights on in the house around midnight and making his opinions known at a pretty loud volume.

All the yelling and shouting woke up little 7 year old me, at first confused and then very scared. I think I was a big fan of the notion that my parents never argued, so this situation wasn't doing much to appease me. I tried to stop them by trying to be as diplomatic as a 7 year old can be, I tried the crocodile tears, I tried the pleas for attention. Each time, I was shunted to the side, their volumes rose higher, and I kept getting more petrified.

After several fruitless attempts to divert the attention to me and to get them to stop fighting, I finally lost my temper. This was the first time in my life that I had ever gotten angry. I don't mean mad, huffy, upset, grumpy... I mean angry. I started shaking all over and something started building up inside my chest that I felt like I had no control over. Whether it was out of fear, out of stress or goodness knows what, but I got out of bed, grabbed a large stick, and began smashing the light fixtures around my house. I didn't care that they were on. I didn't care whether they'd shock me. I just needed to do something to let that emotion out of me before I exploded.

My parents got really worried about me and thought it better to put off their argument for the time being. They then refocused their attention on shouting at me and grounding me, but for quite some time after that, they were rather careful not to argue. At least not where I could see them have a go at it.

Anyway, fast forwarding to the present, there has been only one other incident in my life where I've truly lost any and all control over myself. As I grew up, I slowly learned to truly differentiate times between when I was upset, mad, grouchy, hormonal and angry. As soon as I realized that I had a borderline temper problem, I immediately buried that scary emotion deep and learned to exercise a lot of control over it. Whenever I feel like I get to close to unleashing that side of me, I walk away from the situation to give myself room to breathe and think. I've been fairly good at it for the most part, but even the best of us sometimes slip, don't we?

In fact, these last few days, I've actually been struggling to fight this feeling that's been bubbling inside my chest. I honestly wish I could pinpoint exactly what is causing me to feel this way, but I think a part of me is afraid to admit it. I have been keeping things bottled up inside for far too long and it's beginning to take a toll on me. Honest piece of advice y'all - don't ever do that; let things out. I'm almost afraid of my own anger now, because I know how it overcomes me and almost possesses me and coerces me to go into this blind rage mode. I may have to deal with that soon.

There isn't really a reason for tonight's post. I have been writing in my journal like a madwoman these last couple of nights and not quite feeling better yet. So I thought I'd keep at it and just vent a bit more to no one in particular. I think a few hard decisions and a few uncomfortable situations are coming up in my near future, so fair warning: prep for depressing/frustrated/amused/angry and perhaps "I don't care" posts. It may be through these posts that I may learn what's causing me to be so upset and making me want to be mad.

But anyhow, with that thought, I think I'm going to bring this post to a close. Aside from this over-whelming anger in my brain, I had a fairly pleasant day. I enjoyed Summerlicious with some wonderful people and then attended a fun little concert for Panamania!

Wish me luck in trying to keep a hold of my sanity, focus on the good and ward away the bad for a bit longer. I don't think I'm ready to face all that I need to face yet. *sigh*

Until next time, m'dears.

Hasta la-buh bye!

Tutorial 1: Easy Steps to Happiness

Hey y'all!

So these last few weeks have mainly seen me scrambling to put together a post to stick to my new year's resolution. While it may seem like I'm slacking, I assure you, it isn't the case. I have some ideas, but unfortunately when I have them, I don't have a pen or paper nearby to write about them. And then when I actually sit down to write about them, I face a solid case of writer's block. *sigh*

But while browsing through my brain, I came across a quirky little idea that I may be able to write about every few weeks. Tutorials!

If I had a really popular blog that received comments and feedback, I could ask the readership for suggestions on what to do these tutorials about, but since I don't, I'm going to assume what people like to read about and just post it in hopes that if someone comes across it, they will find it an enjoyable read!

So let's start this segment with an easy topic that I would think everyone would relate to. I'd like to call today's thought: Tutorial 1: An Easy Guide to Happiness

Often times, in our ridiculously busy lives, most people forget the little things that give us joy. We get so riled up about things that annoy us, we get upset when things don't go our way, and we mope about it and unfortunately, take it out on people who are closest to us - like family. So while I was thinking of a few little things we should all do to maintain our sanity when RL is kicking our butt, these are a few ideas I came up with.

1. Surround yourself with people you love.

This is such a simple little "funda" that we all forget in life! Many a times, in workplaces, in schools, in social settings, we are forced to interact with people who truly tap-dance on our last nerves! However, what we forget to do many times is remove those people from our minds once we finish interacting with them! We carry the unnecessary judgemental expectations of these individuals even after we are done dealing with them, and it does nothing to appease our mental health.

But I'm thinking... wouldn't people just be happier surrounding themselves with those they truly love? Interact with only those they wanted to, and talk to only those who made them truly happy? It is truly the easiest piece of advice I could give. I urge y'all out there to cleanse your mind and detox from all these people who make you unhappy, and spend that time with those you actually love.

2. Do something that calms you.

This is another easy one! Some people are fortunate enough that they love their work or school and are extremely content while doing it every day. Others perceive jobs or education as a means to an end and are only plowing through to get out. I have friends who are so unhappy with jobs or with their studies, but I understand why they may be stuck where they are.

However, they needn't stop there! People should just do one thing that truly makes them happy outside of their obligations of life. Whether it's going for runs, dancing, gardening, watching TV, reading, writing - absolutely whatever you like. That little down time for your brain will go a long way to relax you and make you happy. Meditation is a beautiful alternative here, by the by.

3. Hone a talent.

This one goes hand in hand with doing something that makes you happy. While some people might just want to do an activity that relaxes them, others engage in somethings that may be a wonderful talent. For example, drawing or painting, dancing, singing, playing an instrument. So many of these activities are some that can be learned over time and honed into amazing talents.

The feeling associated with being really good at something is so empowering, that it makes mastering an art almost necessary. It gives us a passion to pursue, an art to perfect and something to enjoy and be proud about ourselves for! Seriously y'all, try it.

4. Have no regrets.

I cannot stress the importance of this little nugget of advice. There are so many things I've done in the past that I wish I hadn't, and some I really wish I had. But I've had a realization: why keep wishing? Thinking back on the things I wish I hadn't done, I think again, and I say to myself - "Fuhgedaboudit!"

Being silly, taking chances, speaking your mind, taking a risk - these are all a part of learning. If you make mistakes while doing any of these, it's okay! As long as you learn from the experience and make the best of it, you really should have no regrets about your actions, reactions and decisions. Personally, I see it this way: I'd rather have learned a valuable lesson from taking a leap of faith and chasing an opportunity instead of not acting at all and later wishing I had. Simple!

5. Eat more fortune cookies!

This is undoubtedly the only key to happiness. The joy of opening cookies and reading into those fortunes with friends is so highly entertaining, that y'all simply have to try it. I mean, if you must, you can change the fortune cookie to a food or drink or snack of your choice, but why bother when we know fortune cookies exist? I kid, I kid. Just to share with you all, this is the fortune I got from a cookie I opened not too long ago:

In hopes that this fortune is true, I will stop my babbles here. =D

So there y'are! Here's another attempt at something on my part. I don't know what other tutorials I'll have, but I pick up ideas from everywhere I go, so let's see what next week holds! Until then...

Hasta la-buh bye!

The Struggle Is Real!

Hi World,

I'm actually going to take a moment and revisit one of my goals of this year.

Real talkz.

So, I promised myself that I would write on my blog every week. My friend challenged me and said I wouldn't be able to, so I was even more determined to do it. While in the beginning of the year this was an extremely exciting task, it's slowly becoming slightly more of a challenge. The upkeep that goes into writing every week is so much harder than I imagined!

The other day, I realized that we were already halfway through 2015... how crazy is that? I've just now stopped scratching out 2014 and started writing 2015 properly, and before I know it, another year will already be upon us!

So since we're at the halfway-ish mark to get through my goal of writing each week this year, I wanted to do a little reflection on the journey this far.

Simply put: This blog is like having a child!

*giggles* I actually envision this "baby blog" giving me exactly this cheeky smile while I chase after it and try to keep up!

I have to maintain it every week. I have to think of something new to write every week. I have to gather an idea from the recesses of my brain I never knew I had. I have to formulate the post. I have to write it. I have to proof-read it. I have to publish it. I have to re-read and re-proof-read and then edit it. I realize that I'm making the process seem and sound a lot longer than it actually may be. And yes, often times, I have said in my posts that I'm "simply putting pen to the paper and writing what comes to mind." While I wasn't lying when I said that, I do go back and sometimes edit those posts. *shuffles feet guiltily* But I swear I keep along the same ideas!

But that's what I mean, the input I put into this every week is more than I thought I'd need to in the beginning.

Don't get me wrong, I'm hardly complaining - I'm actually really happy that I'm sticking to a regime that I've created for myself. It shows me my true capability of being consistent. I haven't discussed exceptions, or whether I get free passes for missing days with my friend, but that's because I haven't wanted to! I've made a very conscious effort to do this every Thursday. And while the work involved with it sometimes gets the better of me, it is definitely something I look forward to doing every week.

I'm also chuckling at the thought of how appalled some parents might be that I'm comparing maintaining an inanimate object like a blog with having a child. I'm positive a lot more work goes into the maintenance of those =P

But any how! That's my rant for this evening. An extremely exciting day of Wimbledon semi-finals, the Pan-Am Opening Ceremony and delicious white wine awaits tomorrow!

If anyone out there has actually been reading my blog since this year, I thank you for sticking with me. I pass to you the Goblet of Awesome with your name engraved on it =D I shall keep at this and shall try my best not to disappoint my potential readership!

Yep. This one.

Y'all rock.

Until next week, dah-lings.

Hasta la-buh bye!

#ThrowbackThursday: The Global Edition

Hello world!

You know, growing up, I always had lists for everything I did. Among these extensive, never-ending, silly, goofy and some serious lists, one was of 5 dream destinations around the world. They were:

1. London, England
2. Dublin, Ireland
3. Paris, France
4. Sydney, Australia
5. Athens, Greece

Now, each of these destinations has a huge significance in my life, and these 5 destinations made it to my list because they each impacted me in some big way. Whether rational or irrational isn't even the question, but they sure hold a very special place in my heart. How you ask? Well...

London was all anyone could think of whether they thought of Harry Potter. I remember being an avid Potterhead for as long as I can remember. Remember my favorite childhood memory of doing an HP marathon with my friends until we memorized the movie? Ah, bliss. It makes me very happy that I have been able to scratch this destination off my bucket list!

Dublin was where the cutest member of my favorite boyband Westlife was born. For anyone who has actually read my posts from a while ago, they will know that I truly love Westlife's music. Nicky was one day going to be my knight in shining armor, but to get to him, I had to go to Dublin!

This destination relates most closely to my post from last week when I spent a rushed 24 hours with my bestie in Dublin. The adventures we had there, the memories we made, were absolutely amazing. Thinking of it brings a smile to my face even today. :-) Another destination I am more than happy to have completed on my list!

Honestly, who doesn't want to see the Eiffel Tower? Like, let's be real. I know that ever since I understood what the seven wonders of the world were, the Eiffel Tower was quite high on my list! Furthermore, having been a hopeless romantic growing up, the City of Love never truly lost it's appeal to me at any time. Spending my champagne birthday atop the tower was a moment in my life I will never easily forget. I am definitely beyond the moon that I have visited this amazing place already in my life, and can scratch it off my list in pride.

For someone who had a love of music from a young age, the genre of opera held quite a fascination for me. Ergo, the thought of being able to say that I have seen a live opera at the Sydney Opera House would be an amazing statement. Plus, the beautiful blue skies, the lovely beaches and the super friendly people happen to be a happy bonus! I think this destination may be next on my list of spots to visit in the next few years.

Finally, I was always a huge fan of the Olympics since I was a kid. So the place the Olympics originated, the place where the torch started it's journey from, always held a fascination for me. Furthermore, I met lovely Greek people in my life, tried some great (probably non-authentic) Green cuisine, and I was instantly a fan!

So there you have it!

While some of these made me #throwback to some great memories, others simply made me more excited for the adventures in my life to look forward to.

I hope you all enjoyed this little mini tour of the world with me. See you all next week again!

Until then, darlings...

Hasta la-buh bye!