The Beginning of The End

Today was an absolutely beautiful day.

One of my best friends got married today. It was one of the greatest, most memorable and most amazing moments of my life.

A part of today's post is dedicated to the guy who I've known for the last 10 years. I can honestly say, he is one of the few people in my life who I have seen completely transform. From the painfully shy kid who used to sit in the corner of math class, and not speak to anyone, to the confident, witty, sarcastic yet loving married man he's become.

We have come such a long way, and I cherish every single memory I have made with him.


The second part of today's post is more about what I titled this post. Having been to his wedding got me thinking about life and the big picture and all those generic good things. And a theory came to mind: when we start a new chapter in our lives, whether big or small, important or not, at home or away.. don't we always start at the beginning of an end?

More to come with this theory.. (hopefully tonight or tomorrow)

But while you let that sink in..

Hasta la-buh bye!

Innocence & Implications

Hello world,

Unfortunately, I'm going to have to do another rushed post like last week, and I will have to come back and edit it. But that's okay, I shall do it.

Anyway, this idea has been brewing in my head for a bit. So here goes:

"This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay."

I feel like the most interesting things happen to me when I'm on the bus, and the best thoughts come to mind when I'm swaying to the rhythm of the potholes...

A young woman pushed a stroller on to the bus, on which I was travelling today. And as she wheeled in that stroller, a little girl, her daughter, came into my view.

She was a darling little thing. Her hands were curled up into little fists clutching the candy her mother had given her. Her cheeks were flushed pink from the wind. Her face was shining with joy and she was just so wide-eyed... *melts into a puddle of awwws*

It was as though she was entirely awestruck with the world around her. She was taking in every detail around her, and unbeknownst to most passengers on that bus, she was studying them very carefully.

Of course, this happy little camper kick-started my brain into motion.

How much of what she was seeing would she remember? What exactly was she picking up? Would one of these actions become a habit for her down the road? Her tiny face was screwed up with concentration and her little brow was furrowed as she looked around the bus.

Before I knew it, I was asking myself...

How many times a day are we observed by others? How many times do our actions impact others to a great extent? Are we ever truly and completely aware of our surroundings? We may be doing something and someone else may look at it and want to do the same thing for whatever reason. If this action was moral, legal and good, we wouldn't have a problem with someone picking up on it. But what if it wasn't good? What if the action we were performing was in fact something we should not have been doing? Whether it be something as small as picking your nose in public (eugh, I know), or quietly shoplifting from a store - it would still be an inappropriate and unacceptable action.

So this means that one should always (in the presence of anyone) act in an acceptable way at all times. How does one determine which actions are acceptable and which aren't, though? Oh this question of social acceptance of norms and morality is never ending. What may seem completely normal to one person, another may find unacceptable. I think my personal rationale is simply this: if I am able to honestly justify my action to myself with no room for guilt, and my action was with a very pure, and good intention - I would not be in the wrong.

But this also made me think of something interesting a friend said the other day: "Are we all born with a conscience? Is the ability to distinguish right from wrong innate within us?"

Mahatma Gandhi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

That's all I've got for now. I'll be coming back to this, but for now, the world is going dark on me... *yawn*

Night night.

Hasta la-buh bye!

Reminiscence.

Today was a big day. A milestone, if you will. It marked many important things in my life. I was so emotional and was on the verge of having so many breakdowns, but somehow, I made it through the day.

It has been almost a year since I finished my undergraduate degree.

Remembering all the effort I put in to getting that piece of paper was so bittersweet. All those late nights working on projects, the job hunts during the summer, the intense studying for tests - it was so much work. But I wouldn't go back to change any of it. The lessons I learned, academically and about myself throughout all those years are ones that I will carry with me forever. I made some friends whom I still keep close to me, and I hope to do the same for many years to come. The knowledge I gained was so empowering and helped me discover what I was truly passionate about.

Today also marked the end of a job for me, so to speak.

I hate having to use one of these silly memes, but it is so true. Although technically I'm not out of a job, and there is also a sliiiiight possibility that I may be returning to this workplace, today still felt like goodbye. Throughout the last few months that I worked there, I met some incredible people. I formed some new and hopefully long-lasting friendships, created a few wonderful bonds and got close to the most amazing people I have ever met in my life.

I learned so many things from these people, about them and about myself. In the simplest of terms, the realizations I had truly rocked me to my core. They changed my perspective on life and showed me how easily I could go past the boundaries I had built around myself. I have so much to be thankful for, and I appreciate these individuals every single day. Through them, I learned one of the most important lessons I could ever hope to understand.

I feel like I grew up quite a bit during this year, to be honest. And apart from seeing the change in myself, I feel like others have noticed it too. While some changes have been subtle, others have been obvious. Some have been good, and some have made others quite unhappy because they seemingly made me a less jolly, worn down person. When a friend of mine pointed this out to me, I was quite surprised in the beginning. However, I was even more surprised when I realized my friend was right! It felt like I'd had a bad date with reality, and some things that I'd hoped for would never come true.

But here's what I realized instead. Being in the place I am right now, was all new to me. That made it really easy for things to feel overwhelming, and for my brain to accept one hard hit after another. I know my blog through the last few weeks has been like a roller coaster, but honestly? That's what I feel like I've been on. I've been on this crazy ride that is taking me through so many ups and downs. And while a part of me is so tired of it all and just wants to reach the end, the adventurous side of me is having the time of her life on this ride. I know that one day, I will realize that there was meaning to this journey, and that it wasn't all for nothing.

I think the biggest lesson I've learned has been to have no regrets. I have learned that I never need to justify my feelings or my rationale, that it's okay to want something, and to never lose my values. I know these sound like big, philosophical words, but I also know they'll take me far.

That's it for this week - I should stop babbling while I'm ahead. I will end on this note though: this post is based on some really personal things going on in my life at the moment. I know that I had promised y'all an extra good, super-sensitive, awesome-sauce, amazing post a few weeks ago, but please bear with me for another week. I really have been so excited about it, but you know what? The onus for that one isn't on me anymore, that torch has been passed on to someone else! It is dependent on a few things that I am yet to figure out, a discussion I am yet to have, and maybe a lesson or two I still need to learn. And when I finally do have all that sorted out, it will be great.

Until that time, hasta la-buh bye!

An Ode To: The Dynamic Duo

*waves*

For quite a few Thursdays that have passed, I've had fairly crappy days. I'm starting to wonder when that will turn around and I will finally have a better blog day.

So today, (fair warning), has been a very unsettling day. I spent the entire day in an extremely uncomfortable situation while pretending to be okay with it. I have been on and off an emotional roller coaster all day, and I am holding on for dear life while the feeling passes.

However, I didn't want to let all of these emotions go to waste. So I decided to round up all the mushy squishy feelings I've got, and I'm going to write a very sappy, buzzfeed-like post tonight. There is a high possibility that I will sniffle and cry while writing this, but that's how you know it came from the heart.

Anyway, as y'all know, I've written posts about a few important people in my life. But tonight, I want to present an ode to the absolute most important in my life: the parentals aka the moms and the pops aka aai-baba aka The Dynamic Duo.

I honestly think that my mother and father are who I take for granted the most in my life. So much so, that I've never imagined a life without them. There are so many times when it hits me how truly lucky I am to have grown up in a home that is so full of love, guidance, compassion, inspiration and ambition.

Being an only child, I am automatically perceived as a spoiled brat, but I disagree with that wholeheartedly. My parents always showered me with a lot of love, but never did they grace me with things I did not deserve. No tantrums were ever entertained, and as I became older, I was taught the difference between luxuries and necessities.

I have many things to be thankful for when it comes to my parents. I am the person I am because of how they raised me, because of the role models they were for me while I was growing up, and because of the values they instilled in me from a very young age.

So today, if there were a few things I could say to them, they would be these:

5. I appreciate you

For accepting me the way I am and letting me be my own person. For letting me carve my own niche, blaze my own trail and follow my own path. For forgiving me whenever I made mistakes and showing me that mistakes are nothing but a learning opportunity. For guiding me when I got lost and pointing me in the right direction when I was not able to see a way out. And finally, for protecting me through every bad situation and never letting harm befall me.

4. You inspire me

To be a better person in the things I do ever day. To set my standards at the highest point for myself, and chase the goals and dreams that seem impossible. To achieve excellence and be the absolute best in everything I do. To stand out of the crowd and make you proud.

3. I need you

To pick me up when I fall, and tell me that it will eventually be okay. To comfort me when I'm upset and unsure of where to go and what to do. To tell me the difference between what is right and what is easy and to always select the path that leads to success. To guide me and help me make the decisions that will impact and shape the rest of my life.

2. You know better

Because you have faced many hardships and challenges in life. Because you have made so many sacrifices to make sure that I led the best possible life. Because you have fought and won many battles for yourselves and for me. Because you gave me the best of many worlds, and because you raised a gem! ;-) *ta-da*

5. I love you

Truly. Madly. Deeply. For everything you do. I wouldn't know where I'd be today if it wasn't for you two. You are my world, and I hope you know that I would do anything and everything for you. You are the reason for my being, and I love you to the moon and back.

Ah, so many waterworks while writing this post. I hope those of us who are fortunate enough to still be in touch with our parents take the time to say these things to them every once in a while. I think any parent would be delighted to hear it, and it would make their job as a mummy or a daddy completely worthwhile.

So shout-out to my own mummy and daddy tonight. Y'all rock. ♥

That brings this lovely little post to a happy ending. Good night, world. Until next time...

Hasta la-buh bye!