The Social Experiment: "Operation Corporation"

I love to study people.

Have you ever wondered what is going through a person's mind every day? Just for a minute, if you slow the world down and take in all the faces around you, what would you notice?

When I look around me, I am fascinated by people.

The rationale for their actions, their thought processes - I find them all so very intriguing. I think about what drives a person to be who they are, what may be weighing on their mind, what is triggering them to behave the way they are, what concerns they may be facing in life...

It makes me realize: there is a reason every individual happens to be in the moment they are in.

Now, I'm sure that I am not the only one who enjoys observing people. There may be several others who like to do the same, and are probably better at reading people than I am.

But! When I observe people, it's not only individuals that I pass on the street, or ones who I may be travelling with on the subway. Mostly, I observe my friends. I scrutinize their behaviors, their actions and reactions in situations, the things they say, etc. It is by doing so, that I learn more about them.

It's a lengthy process, you know?!

Developing patterns, looking for similarities, determining their comfort zone, testing the waters by assuming their likes and dislikes, and making a note of several other minute details and nuances. Not to mention that if in doing all this, I find out I'm wrong, I go right back to the drawing board and start the learning process from scratch, once again.

In spite of my extensive research and sincere efforts to get to know people, I am never able to state with complete certainty that I know a person inside out, regardless of how close I am with them. That would mean I'm completely disregarding the ability of people to be spontaneous and surprising.

And it's here, that one of my biggest pet peeves about perceptions comes into play.

There are times when people assume they simply know me to be a certain way. Whether this is in fact true or not, they don't really care. I find it incredibly irksome.. especially if what they claiming happens to be untrue.

So, what I'm struggling to understand is this: why would someone stake such a claim to begin with? What would prompt someone to say that they know me to be a certain way, when that may not be so?

"Nobody knows me, yet everyone knows my name." - Westlife

While I am still searching for an answer, I had a few theories. Go figure.

Maybe this stems from insecurities that an individual feels. Do they feel powerless over me if they do not know me? By making such bold claims about others, are these individuals simply reassuring themselves that they are an important aspect in others lives?

Or does it simply come from a mixture of past experiences and a natural tendency to generalize people? However, those who know me, also know that if there is one thing I really dislike, it is being generalized.

So, since this didn't make much sense, I delved further into my thoughts. I wondered whether I may have been playing a part in this assumption somewhere. What if I have conditioned people to always perceive me in a certain light? If I have acted a certain way around people all the time, does this then entitle them to predict my behaviour? I'd disagree, because then I would be perceived as incapable of spontaneity, and that would be untrue.

So I decided to put this to the test. With the help of a friend, I designed a little social experiment.

Along with impulsion and stubbornness, I have another annoying quirk: I am hopelessly optimistic. About everything. Even things that may be a lost cause.

Especially with regards to the different kind of relationships I share with people. Whether they are friends, co-workers, acquaintances, or even family members. Not only do I invest more into relationships than other people, but my attempts to engage the reciprocals are truly relentless.

A friend said to me, "That is a really rare quality in people these days. You don't want to lose that about yourself."

I use this buoyancy and positivism to condition those around me; they expect me to constantly be upbeat, happy and cheerful.

So in my little experiment, I decided to tone down the extrovert in me by several notches, especially within formal settings. While at first I failed to see the significance of this, my friend guaranteed that it would produce results of some sort. And he was right.

While I was busy respecting the stories of those around me, often times, I neglected mine. However, after a single day of neutral behaviour, standoffish demeanour and close to no chatting in the workplace, not one, but three of my co-workers stopped to ask me if I was okay. While this experiment was not designed to see whether I'd be able to get more attention, it is interesting to note how the change in behaviour gave me exactly that.

I plan on continuing this facade indefinitely, and I know I will learn something new from it every day. I am still looking for answers with regards to my previously raised questions, but en route to that discovery, I am finding answers to many other questions I never knew I had.

Words to live by.

Here's to self-discovery, turning over a new leaf, self-reflection and social experiments.

Until next time, y'all.

Hasta la-buh bye!

The Man in the Shadows

Today, I want to write about someone. Someone I consider to be extremely close to my heart.

A friend of mine.

Just when I think I've learned everything there is to know about him, something he says or does, takes me by surprise. He is someone I can never put my finger on. But the best part about him, is how blissfully unaware he is of the amazing and unique personality he possesses.

The things he says, the things he does, his ideologies about certain things, his reasoning as he makes decisions are all incredibly fascinating to observe. The charm, the mannerisms, the innate qualities of a gentleman and chivalry are so extraordinary, that they set him apart on an entirely different level. However, at the end of the day, he insists that he is like "anybody else out there".

His astounding humility and modesty amaze me every day, while his inquisitiveness, curiosity and amusement at little things that surprise him, is a delight to watch.

I often compare him to a guardian; one who silently stands and watches over everyone. It reflects in his personality, where he puts others before himself without blinking an eye.

His calm aura, silent elegance and princely stature give him a rather powerful persona. I always think to myself that he would not be a person to cross; oddly enough, he thinks the same of me.

I've come to the conclusion that there is so much more to him than I will ever know and understand. However, I've begun to find comfort in the mystery and the complexity of his personality.

To this day, the relationship I share with him confounds me. It is an extremely special bond we have, and I hold it closer to me than I could put into words. We have come a long way in a very short time.

He has been an exception to all the rules I've ever made for myself. In just a few fortnights, we have traveled down a lovely path of camaraderie. I marvel at how easily I was able to invest so much of my trust into this friendship with him.

Here is what I know for a fact: the man has a heart of gold. He has a billion things to teach the world, simply by being himself. Although at times, I wish there were many more like him, there is no one out there who could ever be half the man he is.

So, the significance of this post, you ask?

A token of gratitude for this extraordinary entity, that is my friend.

This is to thank him for every single thing he's ever done for me. For always being the quiet voice of reason. For being my pillar when I thought I would crash and burn. For lending me his ear when I needed to speak. For making me listen to exactly what I needed to hear. For understanding me beyond mere words or actions. For recognizing that there is more than meets the eye.

For never generalizing me. For stubbornly pointing out every day that I am a unique individual; that there is no one out there like me. For actually meaning it.

For advocating everyone's case, ever. For justifying every single thing said, ever.

For his amazing words of wisdom, wit and experience that put any situation into better perspective. For holding me back when I need to be held back, and for pushing me forward when I needed the encouragement.

However, most important of all, I thank him for being him.

I thank him, for restoring my faith in humanity every day.

Dedicated to you, Superstar. You truly are my Kryptonite.

Until next time, oh dearies.

Hasta la-buh bye!

Welcome, 2015.

2014 was hard.

The last few months have been especially challenging, to say the least.

In a short period of time, there were a lot of heart aches, heart breaks, melt downs, panic attacks, lonely nights, battling demons, and countless tears.

And yet, here I am.

Here we all are. Facing a new year - 2015!

As with everyone, and as with every new year, I have made resolutions. But this time around, they are a little different.

Sure, I've got the materialistic list like everybody - be healthier, go to the gym, eat right, sleep more, job hunt, read books, write on my blog more often (*shuffles feet embarrassedly*) and so on...

However...

There's something new on my agenda for 2015, an odd sort of list of resolutions, if you will.

It will be this list, that I will refer to every day, to make sure I am sticking to my resolutions.

It will be this list, that I will share with every person I care about, because I think they should have this on their agendas too.

And it will be this list, that will ensure me taking on this year as a better, stronger, and more amazing person.

So what is this list you ask? Just five little bits of advice. Here goes.

1. Keep an open mind.

The significance of a new year is through a mere date. Each day is a new opportunity. Keeping an open mind does not simply translate to meek acceptance of anything and everything around you. An open mind means letting the fabrics of judgement, prejudice and stereotypes fall away from your view. Looking at the world from a different angle. Understanding that everyone has a story which led them to where they are now. Everyone has their own trials, triumphs, demons and drives; an open mind respects all those about different individuals.

Being judgmental is frighteningly easy, the challenge is not to do so. This year, my goal is to learn even more about the world around me. I pride myself in my observation skills, however I've learned something very important - there is so much more than ever meets the eye in this world.

Don't just hear what's being said, but listen to the words spoken.

Don't just see what's around you, but truly look at it.

2. Be spontaneous, take risks, try something new.

So much of our lives are spent in the mundane routines that persevere every day. Jobs, school, whatever it may be, ruts are surprisingly easy to wedge our selves into. Unbeknownst to us, these routines slowly take a toll on our mental health. We feel trapped, suffocated, and frustrated without truly understanding what may be fueling such emotions. What we fail to overlook, is this: we are our own culprits. In the rush to get where we need to go, do what we need to do, finish what we need to finish, we often forget to (forgive the use of the cliché here) stop and smell the roses.

I plead to you all. Stop. Smell them. They smell wonderful.

It could be as simple as having pomegranate juice instead of apple, walking down Second Avenue instead of First Street, maybe even adding the color orange to your wardrobe. Or it could also be something bold, and life-changing like altering your career path, moving out of the city for bigger and better opportunities, proposing to the one you love, or finally pursuing that crazy hobby you never dared to. Whatever it may be, DO IT! 

Disclaimer: Know that there is a fine line between throwing caution to the wind and irrationality.

3. Live with no regrets.

Ten years down the road, when you look back at any given day in your life, I don't want you to wish you had done something differently. I completely understand that some things in life are well out of our hands. However, there are always some parts we can control. In the words of a wise rat named Remy, "Change is nature, the part that we can influence. And it starts when we decide."

So what if it's a shot in the dark? You'll know.

So what if it's a mistake? You'll learn.

So what if it goes wrong? You'll survive.

You owe it to yourself to be content. Think of what truly matters to you. Think of who will be affected by your choices. And most importantly, think of how your decision will affect your life.

Please know that although I say this, I do not condone or promote the trial of harmful substances, alcohol or any other life threatening activities. That is not the kind of decisions I want y'all to make.

4. Be independent, not alone.

Many a times, independence is often perceived as synonymous with being aloof, detached and maybe rebellious. Not always. When I say "be independent", I mean this: If you are working on washing judgement away from your life, you need not let it affect you either. Don't let the judgement of others control your actions. Don't worry about what people will think if you dress a certain way. Don't let it bother you if people think your perfectionism is quirky.

It is those who are unconventional, who are trail blazers. Don't be afraid to make your own mark, to carve your own path and to stand out in a crowd. If you are exuberant and confident in your traits, no one will dare question you. Make an impact so that others will realize, your way is the right way.

5. Appreciate your life.

Life is so unexpected. With all the crazy things going on in this world around us, I sometimes wonder whether I will live to see a new day. And when I do, I embrace it as though I've been granted a new life. The fact that I am in a warm home, writing this post on an expensive piece of technology, the fact that I am able to string together these fancy words for our amusement, (to me) is a blessing in disguise.

Every day, I appreciate the fact that I am surrounded by those who love me unconditionally. I appreciate that I have a wonderful education attached to my name. I appreciate that I have the most amazing friends in the world. Above all, my gratitude knows no bounds that I understand what appreciation truly is. I am a whole, healthy person. To all those who are able to say this with me, please know and understand how truly blessed you are.

So, there you have it! My peculiar list of resolutions for 2015.

If any of these resonated with you, please let me know. I urge you all to follow these with me, but I'd hate to impose. Consider this a humble proposition.

Until next time, oh dear ones.

Hasta la-buh bye!