Reminiscence.

Today was a big day. A milestone, if you will. It marked many important things in my life. I was so emotional and was on the verge of having so many breakdowns, but somehow, I made it through the day.

It has been almost a year since I finished my undergraduate degree.

Remembering all the effort I put in to getting that piece of paper was so bittersweet. All those late nights working on projects, the job hunts during the summer, the intense studying for tests - it was so much work. But I wouldn't go back to change any of it. The lessons I learned, academically and about myself throughout all those years are ones that I will carry with me forever. I made some friends whom I still keep close to me, and I hope to do the same for many years to come. The knowledge I gained was so empowering and helped me discover what I was truly passionate about.

Today also marked the end of a job for me, so to speak.

I hate having to use one of these silly memes, but it is so true. Although technically I'm not out of a job, and there is also a sliiiiight possibility that I may be returning to this workplace, today still felt like goodbye. Throughout the last few months that I worked there, I met some incredible people. I formed some new and hopefully long-lasting friendships, created a few wonderful bonds and got close to the most amazing people I have ever met in my life.

I learned so many things from these people, about them and about myself. In the simplest of terms, the realizations I had truly rocked me to my core. They changed my perspective on life and showed me how easily I could go past the boundaries I had built around myself. I have so much to be thankful for, and I appreciate these individuals every single day. Through them, I learned one of the most important lessons I could ever hope to understand.

I feel like I grew up quite a bit during this year, to be honest. And apart from seeing the change in myself, I feel like others have noticed it too. While some changes have been subtle, others have been obvious. Some have been good, and some have made others quite unhappy because they seemingly made me a less jolly, worn down person. When a friend of mine pointed this out to me, I was quite surprised in the beginning. However, I was even more surprised when I realized my friend was right! It felt like I'd had a bad date with reality, and some things that I'd hoped for would never come true.

But here's what I realized instead. Being in the place I am right now, was all new to me. That made it really easy for things to feel overwhelming, and for my brain to accept one hard hit after another. I know my blog through the last few weeks has been like a roller coaster, but honestly? That's what I feel like I've been on. I've been on this crazy ride that is taking me through so many ups and downs. And while a part of me is so tired of it all and just wants to reach the end, the adventurous side of me is having the time of her life on this ride. I know that one day, I will realize that there was meaning to this journey, and that it wasn't all for nothing.

I think the biggest lesson I've learned has been to have no regrets. I have learned that I never need to justify my feelings or my rationale, that it's okay to want something, and to never lose my values. I know these sound like big, philosophical words, but I also know they'll take me far.

That's it for this week - I should stop babbling while I'm ahead. I will end on this note though: this post is based on some really personal things going on in my life at the moment. I know that I had promised y'all an extra good, super-sensitive, awesome-sauce, amazing post a few weeks ago, but please bear with me for another week. I really have been so excited about it, but you know what? The onus for that one isn't on me anymore, that torch has been passed on to someone else! It is dependent on a few things that I am yet to figure out, a discussion I am yet to have, and maybe a lesson or two I still need to learn. And when I finally do have all that sorted out, it will be great.

Until that time, hasta la-buh bye!