The Blame Game

Greetings, earthlings!

It's ranting time. *puts on game face*

So, in case y'all haven't noticed my vehement loyalty to my friends through my writing, I must make this known: my friends (especially the ones I hold close to my heart), mean the world to me.

I have an extraordinary emotional attachment with some people. When they feel disappointed, sad, unhappy, aggravated, hurt or any unpleasant emotional, my heart hurts for them. Not only do I get upset, but I also feel an inexplicable hatred towards the people to make my friends feel that way. I'm a passionate worrier by nature... feeling this way is inevitable. *shrugs*

Anyhow, I digress; but just keep my over-bearing, over-caring, over-protective nature in mind while I introduce this week's topic.

The notion of blaming someone.

I absolutely love this.

What does it mean to blame?

I've realized that this notion comes about about when things don't fall into place a certain way for people, and they want to hold someone or something responsible for the way they are feeling.

But why do people feel this way? I think that we feel the need to blame in order to shift the onus of a situation on to something else, so that our conscience is nice and clear. We 'blame' so we may hold someone accountable for our insecurities, fears and sometimes even our failures. And how do we do so?

After a lot of thought and deliberation, I came to this conclusion: we all seem to play the Blame Game (as I like to call it), with three specific parties.

1. With someone.

I am usually of the belief that all of your actions can be traced back to decisions that you have made in your life. Who you are, is a reflection of the company you choose to keep. How you are, is defined by the mindset you choose when you take on the day. And where you are, is a result of where you've chosen to be.

And yet, when certain things don't work for people, they want to place the 'blame' on someone. Whether it's as a joke or it's serious, I think that individuals feel a strange sense of relief after holding someone responsible for a matter that has fallen through the cracks. It seems to be an indirect reassurance that they need not be worried about shouldering the responsibility for an unfinished piece of work, whatever it may be.

2. With a non-tangible, supernatural entity.

I find this category even funnier and more unrealistic than the first. When people absolutely know that they are solely responsible for their actions, there is no escaping the onus. In times like these, and be honest with me here, how many of you look up to the heavens with a very exasperated expression and think, "Why me?!"? More of us than you think!

*shuffles feet* Even I'm guilty of it on occasion.

Several people who don't call themselves religious or believers will somehow take extensive comfort in blaming their fate, destiny or luck for the way their life is turning out. Granted that there are some things out of a person's control; but what I don't understand is, how does blaming something non-existent appease any of your worries? I would personally view that as an excuse to delay taking complete charge of your life and taking complete control of your actions.

3. With yourself.

I understand that this may seem contradictory to the previous two categories that I wrote about. I know that I seem to be encouraging self-blaming, but I'm not! I think that there is a very distinct difference between owning up to your actions, decisions, principles and ethics, and simply blaming yourself for certain things.

This category is the one where having my over-protective nature can be a real pain. So lately, I have been having some very interesting conversations with Jack and Jill about the people we are surrounded by. Jack is being extremely hard on himself for not being able to recognize the mentality of some people, and is having a hoot and a half playing the Blame Game with himself.

This. Infuriates. Me.

While I understand his perspective about how he thinks he should have "known better", I truly don't see a point in him beating himself up. So I am taking a moment to tell him this: just because you met a few bad apples does not mean you need to suddenly question every fruit you've ever known. Take a risk, and take a bite, however, don't be upset with yourself if you pick up a fruit that's sour on the inside while looking very sweet on the outside.

All I'm saying is, learn a lesson from this experience. Don't linger in that dark place where you keep going over the same things in your head, wishing you had picked up on the hints and clues beforehand. Instead, use this as an opportunity to look out for yourself in the future.

So basically, that was me venting for the day. I hope Jack brushes the dust off and rises back to where he usually belongs. As for the rest of y'all, think about this notion and see what you can change.

Don't waste your precious time looking for someone to blame; life is too short!

Until next week, m'dears.

Hasta la-buh bye!